Are You Connected?

The other day, my wife and I were walking together when we happened upon an older gentleman, his dog, and presumably his adolescent grandchild.  As we conversed about the day and how happy his dog was to be out on a walk, his grandchild walked right up and embraced us in conversation.  But not just conversation – connection.  He walked right up and asked us how we were doing – and waited for an actual reply, not just the pleasantry of the day.  He enthusiastically noted how beautiful the day was for walking and asked where we were from and where we were going. And, of course, he was elated to talk about his college team of choice, the Georgia Bulldogs, as he adorned his colors with pride on a college football Saturday morning.  This exchange ended with a shoulder hug and a smile. And another wave and an over-the-shoulder smile as he walked away.

Unpackaging this exchange reminded me of the importance of connection—both brief and prolonged. We live in a world that trends contrary to human connection. We communicate without talking, fight without throwing a punch, and argue without saying a word. And we celebrate with others with a thumbs-up or heart emoji. We desire being "liked" rather than being known. Our contacts continue to increase, and all the while, we’re losing sight of the value of real human connection.

In May 2023, the US Surgeon General called loneliness a public health epidemic – this is on the heels of many studies that noted skyrocketing digital connections concurrent with an exponential increase in addictions, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and chronic health conditions.

Are You In That Mix?

Too often, I would be engrossed in thought or listening to a podcast while walking, making my interest or eagerness to engage very low.  In an open environment like this, perhaps even more so.  However, what about when you are walking through a crowd at work, at church, at school, or in a known community setting?  Do you walk through the crowd more focused on getting somewhere, or are you willing to make eye contact and engage in meaningful conversation?

Connection can be a momentary exchange—or the kind of friendship that keeps you up past midnight in deep discussion, makes you laugh so hard that you start to cry, and wraps you warmly on a cold or challenging day. Don’t get me wrong; human connection is not perfect or comfortable (especially for those with past relational trauma). It is also not digital, one-sided, or simply an exchange of information.

With Whom Do You Have Connection?

As I reflect on the exchange with the young man on the walk, I recall his grandfather unapologetically saying he was just who he was created to be. I wish I were more like that—for that matter, I wish we all were more like that.

He shared the gift of presence, even as a stranger (although I don’t think that word held meaning to him) – not distracted, no fleeting thoughts, and not focused on the surface.  He was intently focused on being fully present for those few minutes.  Although I doubt I will ever see that young man again, he will not be easily forgotten. Perhaps you have had a similar experience that caught you by surprise. Perhaps you are just like that young man – if so, we need more like you.  What would this world look like if we made time for and connected with people?

Today, seek an opportunity to connect.  Be intentional, put your screen down, look that person in the eye, listen intently, and extend grace in the exchange.  Human connection matters.

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If you are gifted in making connections - please take some time to share your insights.