Will Your Story Matter?
How often do you take the time to think about the things that occupy the hours of your day? Your week? Your year? There is something to be said about the activities that we pursue, the goals that we have established and the means by which we reach them. Sometimes its a head down, grind it out period of life, at other times it is finding our ideal pace, striding out and catching our breath.
But what about the impact on those around you?
Your family, your friends, and your colleagues? Do you realize that simply by being engaged in the life of those around you, influence will occur. But amidst the activities of daily life, do you have an awareness of the possible impact you have on them? Does that matter to you? Did that matter to you at some time in the past?
As an Emergency Medicine specialist, I have the privilege of caring for people on what often equates to the worst day of their life. People don’t come to the Emergency Department for an enjoyable social outing. And I don’t take offense that people aren’t routinely excited to see me – it just comes with the territory. Whether borne out of an untimely event, the fear of an uncertain and new diagnosis, the life pause occurring from a new illness, or the reassurance that all is well, the impact on the patient and the family is real. And while it is my job to help intervene with and often identify the undifferentiated medical condition, the approach to the process is as much medical as it is embracing humanity.
While stabilizing, assessing, and diagnosing is essential, so is the ability to communicate through the process such that concerns are heard, fears are addressed and clarity, when possible, is provided. If you have ever been on the receiving end, you know the value of having this ‘human touch’ at the bedside.
When working alongside our incredible group of Emergency Medicine specialists-in-training (residents as they are known in the US), I frequently task them to find those whose life you will positively impact during the course of the shift. For me it is a common question – but for some, it causes a brief pause in the neurosynaptic brainwaves to understand what was just asked.
It’s not a complex question – but the responses are interesting. Some inquire about how they will know if they have a positive impact. Others question whether they are capable of having such an impact. Regardless, how they identify those for which they perceive having a positive impact and what they see as the potential impact tells me about their perspective, character, and growth through the incredibly difficult training environment of Emergency Medicine.
But its not about the task that matters most – its about the awareness of those around them. The unsaid challenges being faced by a colleague. The difficulties faced by one of our nursing teammates at home. The unspoken fears of the patient in room 37. It is about being present.
But you don’t have to work in the ER to have an impact.
Often our impact occurs without clarity nor confirmation. Maybe it was the exchange with a colleague that just wanted to be recognized for the hard work they have been doing. Perhaps it is simply greeting someone by name as you passed them in the hallway. Or even reaching out by email or text to check in on your team members that are remote and removed from daily conversation.
Whether we realize it (or choose to embrace it), we are relational beings. We long to feel seen. We want to be heard. We desire to be valued. And we want to believe that our story, our existence matters.
In The Gift of Struggle, Bobby Herrera shares incredible insights from the struggles faced in his life. As one of 13 children in an underprivileged family in New Mexico, life was struggle. But as a teenager, a simple act of kindness shown to him and his brother offered not just hope, but created a new perspective.
The action wasn’t profound, but the impact was life changing.
Sometimes it is in these moments that a proverbial fork in the road is created. Despite our struggle (or perhaps because of it) - an opportunity is given. A new direction born from a momentary life impact. The realization that something is possible. That you are more than the sum of your failures or fears. Enough encouragement to pull belief from despair. To be able to take that next step. The gift of struggle.
Sometimes it is simply the need to be ‘seen’ where we are – and recognized for what we can become. For someone to step into our struggle – and help us believe there is another side. It is seeing the value in the person – and acknowledging it. It is often in the struggle of life that purpose, meaning and impact come to life.
Ever find yourself in that place? What moments had the greatest impact? Who came alongside you?
For me, it was often an impact that came in the subtlety of a small hand up when I was feeling down. A kind word of encouragement when I was moments away from giving up. The willingness of someone to believe in me when I struggled to do so myself.
As a leader, do you understand the power of ‘seeing’ people?
We need to be willing to give people a voice. And help them feel that we want more for them, than we want from them. We need recognize the struggle in those around us – because you never know when you will place an indelible imprint on someone’s life.
It is my hope that each of us will at some point in our lives, have individuals reach out and speak of the positive impact you had on their lives. To hear that your kindness came when they reached the bottom – and was the hand-up that they needed to persevere. To know that a simple act was enough to instill in them the value of paying it forward. And to know that a kid like me, who had God-sent transition figures at critical life junctions, can be the same for others facing the similar challenges.
Whether you realize it or not – your story matters!
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Let the following be true as you continue to #LeadWell:
“I have the humility to understand the power of seeing people; the power to give others a voice and for them to believe that I want more for them than I want from them.”