Being Thankful... Lead With Gratitude
The purest index of your own personal well-being is the degree of gratitude in your life.
Let that thought resonate for a moment. If you need to, read it again. How is your gratitude index today? (If you are not certain, ask those around you)
Have you ever spent time thinking about the source of gratitude in your life? Have you ever considered how you can grow in gratefulness? Do you consider it more of a mindset or an actionable habit? Have you pondered whether being intentional with gratitude may impact your ability to lead?
The Latin root of the word gratitude is grata or gratia—a given gift. From this same root we get our word grace, which means an unearned gift freely given. Additionally, the word gratitudinem is the basis for our word thankfulness. Both gratitude and thankfulness represent the inner presence and outward gesture of a life freely given.
Building on these Latin roots, Benedictine monk, Br. David Steindl-Rast, suggested that two qualities should belong in our basic definition of gratitude. The first is appreciation: the recognition that something is valuable to you, not related to its monetary worth. The second quality is that gratitude is gratis: freely given to you.
Appreciation. The recognition that something is inherently valuable to you.
A gratis. Not by works. Not by accomplishments. Not inherently deserved. Freely given.
So why is it so difficult to cultivate an attitude of gratitude daily? Perhaps it is that we do not stay grateful because we struggle with receiving gifts for the fear being indebted. After all, gratitude is thankfulness for something freely given to you. Gratitude expresses a level of vulnerability, a dependence, a realization and acknowledgement that someone did something for me that I had not (or could not) do for myself.
Gratitude takes the fear of being indebted and sacrificially lifts another – and in doing so lifts yourself as well. It embraces humility while being enveloped in a state of thanksgiving.
A Chinese proverb says that those who drink the water must remember who dug the well.
How often in life do you stop long enough to remember who dug the well… and give thanks?
Robert Emmons, Psychologist at UC Davis and a leading scientific expert on the impact of gratitude on our lives, suggests that gratitude has the following 4 positive impacts on our lives:
Gratitude celebrates the present
Gratitude blocks toxic emotions
Gratitude builds resiliency
Gratitude increases self-worth and social ties
Celebrating the present while building up ourselves and those around us. Born out of the recognition and appreciation of where we are and those whose fingerprints are seen on our lives.
Emmons also suggest that gratitude is built upon on two key components: “First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received.” Or as Steindl-Rast suggested, appreciation.
The second part of gratitude, he explains, “we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves…We acknowledge that other people…gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.” Freely given.
Gratitude turns what we have into enough.
<<<>>>
How are you with cultivating a spirit of gratitude? When faced with daily trials and tribulations, learning to express genuine gratitude (and maintaining it) can be a challenge. I often talk with my kids about establishing an attitude of gratitude. I am certain at times they may think, ‘here he goes again’ – followed by subtle eye-rolling. However, I believe gratitude is not only an important character quality for me, but for me to instill in those close to me. Sometimes it is as simple as asking them what they are grateful for – followed closely by the ‘why’ of deeper inquiry.
Why is that important?
It is one thing to identify something for which you are grateful. It is quite another to take the time to articulate why you are grateful and perhaps what (or who) led to that being present in your life. When fully reflective an action of thanksgiving usually follows.
Keep in mind - unexpressed gratitude doesn’t help anyone. How often do you feel thankful or feel appreciation toward someone around you but may not express it to them? Why is that? For many years, I struggled with it simply due to my autonomous mindset – struggling with my own selfish pride when faced with the gracious act of another. Can you relate?
Appreciation for something freely given – expressed in return.
I had once heard it said that gratitude is a quality like electricity: it must be produced and discharged, used up in order to exist at all. I like that. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is the start. Expressing it keeps the cycle alive. Each of us may express it in different ways – and it may take time and practice, but the outcomes are likely far greater than what Emmons eluded.
Grateful people linger over life’s blessings, rather than focus on limitations or failures.
As a leader, can you think of a better attribute to have than an attitude of gratitude? It isn’t based on a time of year, but a reflection of one’s quality of character. If this is something that you have cultivated, continue to share the gift. If this is something that might represent an opportunity for you or your team, embrace it like your life depends on it. To some degree… it does.
<<<>>>
For today (and for that matter, every day to come), embrace the following questions:
What are you grateful for today?
How (and to whom) will you express your gratitude?
Make it so.